Category: Personal

Spare Au Pair?

Our au pair has found a job at home so we need a new one ASAP. Please give me a bell if you know of one available to start next week. Or tomorrow. ;)

Day Drinking Saturday

Ah, I love day drinking, it beats the pants off night drinking. Sitting in beer gardens in the sun with the ability to actually move around, wandering the streets ridiculing sober people, not having a care in the world apart from the next source of beer, and, if time-appropriate, food. It’s a wonderful thing.

I’ll be in the Linen Weaver on Saturday at 12:30, and yes I am a traitor for drinking in a British pub, and no I don’t care. If you’d like to join me for a pint or a bite, please drop in. Or text me later in the day if you’d like to hook up for a chat. It’s been a while since I saw most of ye, I miss ye!

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon.

Boards finally caught up with my last two long-term reregs. Last is the operative word though, the only value it had left for me was getting technical / local questions answered, and between the decrease in clue there and the increase of quality of other sources, the few minutes it would take to proxy a new account just isn’t worth the effort. The general quality of discussion has collapsed in on itself like a sphincter, the inability to mention any brand or person name is patently ridiculous, the bias and patent cluelessness of a good majority of the moderators is depressing, and the corporate nature of the whole affair has become utterly transparent.

I had great fun there over the years, particularly during the IrelandOffline and Cork Boards Beers years. I still go drinking with some of the Cork Boardsies semi-regularly, and enjoy their company immensely. (Because of the beer, obviously.) And of course I met my lovely wife there, with whom I have two lovely boys, and another on the way. I’m done now though. I’ve deleted the bookmark a few times in the last few months, but enough is enough. Go fuck yourself Boards. You’re a shadow of your former self.

All of which is a roundabout way of saying I’ll probably be spending far too much time on Reddit now. Which is where I found this.  It’s “duck” btw. Filthy mind.

As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”
The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?” “Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,” replied the vet..
“How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..
The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “$150!” she cried, “$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!”
The vet shrugged, “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $150.

(Part Of) Me Old Mini!

This came off my first car, a Mini I bought before I had any mechanical skills whatsoever, probably 15-20 years ago. I know it’s mine because the grille was a separate purchase, and I picked the colour myself from something completely unrelated to Minis. A friend of a friend sprayed it, badly, and then it languished in my parent’s garage for far too long, stripped. I eventually sold to my neighbour for a fraction of what it cost me. He probably made a tidy sum on it. :)

Boardwalk in Youghal Hammered

EDIT: Apologies for “hammered”, subconscious hat-tip to the Lahinch photo.

Very sad, €400k invested in this only last year according to De Paper, with plans to extend it another 1.5km. Hopefully the budget is already there for the extension so this bit can be repaired quickly; and better — I’m no engineer but the way the deck is attached to the piles looks very weak to me.

Youghal Town Council, if you’re listening, if you create a ringfenced fund for repair and development of the next section, my family will donate €50 and my business €100. And please post updates on your website.


The Old Cork Xmas Decs

Via freshpopcorn on Boards. I know they had their problems, bulbs in particular, but these are what I think of as proper xmas decs, with proper xmas colours. The white ones bores me; the blue ones infuriate me.

Cork Decs

Meet Max

The newbie, rushed out last weekend at 5am, 9lb 10oz.


Home with bro after a busy couple of days.


Meet Rolf

Still haven’t had a chance to detail the 850R I bought way back in June, which is why I’m only posting these now. Can’t believe I’ve had it over 6 months.

Wonderful car, perfect for 2 child seats and a boot-full of buggies and bags, or 200kg of wood pellets, or simply pissing it down country roads.

Loads of work to do though, there’s definitely a(nother) boost leak somewhere, and the brakes need to be upgraded, and it needs a bluetooth head, and, and…

Here it is in the IKEA car park the day I picked it up.

2012-06-14 14.27.29

And here’s some fun I had on the way home. The spare had a puncture too.

2012-06-14 17.04.39

More pics after I’ve had it detailed.

Poor Old James Has To Go

This is James, my minded ’00 740i. I bought it in great nick 18 months ago and since then I’ve fixed the minor body and interior issues it came with myself with OEM parts, had it serviced twice with trusted indies, and I’ve had some mechanicals done by Cork BMW specialists Ardfallen Motorcare: alternator (used), intake breather (new OEM), and aircon valves/pump (new OEM). The ABS pre-charge pump (used) was also replaced by one of the indies.

The suspension was given a good going over by my mechanic when I bought it, and I haven’t had any problems since. The engine is running beautifully. The M-Parallel alloys are genuine BMW and the tyres have at least half their wear left. The original standard alloys will come with the car, but I’m happy to keep the M-Paras back if you’d like to reduce the price by a few hundred quid.

It comes with all the features you’d expect from a car that originally cost in the region of €100k: electric windows, mirrors, seats and tilt/slide sunroof, cruise control on the multi-function steering wheel, 6 CD changer, on-board computer, auto-dimming rear-view mirror, auto-wipe with rain-sensor, soft-close boot. Other nice touches are footwell lights, puddle lights in the door bottoms, and natty door handle lights.

Service history is as follows. The last two indies are my guys.

0 (10/00) Murphy & Gunn BMW – Pre-Delivery
13473 (01/08/01) M&G BMW – Oil
26556 (05/04/02) M&G – Inpection I, Microfilter
38290 (12/11/02) M&G – Oil
52675 (14/08/04) M&G – Inspection II
60978 (30/11/05) M&G – Oil
68134 (03/11/06) M&G – Pre-Purchase Service, Wishbone
76570 (27/04/07) M&G – Inspection I, Microfilter
94117 Gerald Perry Motors – Oil
107888 Cork Engine Centre – Oil
115000 (09/11/10) O’Learys Garage Ballincollig – Oil
121745 (09/08/11) East Cork Motors – Spark Plugs, ABS Pre-Charge Pump
122348 (02/09/11) Ardfallen Motorcare – Intake Breather Valve
124631 (29/02/12) Ardfallen Motorcare – Aircon Valves/Pump

I’ll provide copies of all maintenance and parts invoices I have to go with the service book.  It comes with two fully-functional keys, and NCT to October this year. The current mileage is 125735m. I’m happy to provide the reg if you’d like to do a MotorCheck report, just ask and I’ll PM it to you.

There are very few faults with the car. It has a /very/ small dent on the passenger-side rear wing, barely noticeable, and the leather in the front seats isn’t perfect, it’s just very good for a 12 year old car; ditto the headlining. On the maintenance front, it’ll need a service in about 6000 miles, and I think a transmission flush wouldn’t go astray in the next 15-30k, to keep changes nice and fluid. It’s a simply job on about the level of a regular oil change, and documented in the Bentley manual; budget around €250 if you’re doing it yourself, €350-400 with an indie.

I’m open to /reasonable/ offers; I won’t respond to lowballs. It’s a joy to drive, I’ll miss it terribly but it’s time for me to try something new. You can email me if you’d like to ask any questions, or you can use if you’d prefer.