Shit CS #2: Sky

Today’s lesson in Shit CS covers Sky, which is trolling whole new depths of Shit CS. I had to send this via the addresses on the investor relations site, until I get an actual person I can hit with it. You can send that info to adam AT beecher DOT net.


I’m unable to post meaningful feedback on the Sky website, as your feedback forms only allow 500-512 characters. How stupid is that? If you’re unwilling or unable to deal with an angry customer, please pass my email on to someone who is willing or able.

I just tried to upgrade to Sky+ on your phone line. I’m unable to upgrade on your website, as Sky seems to believe Irish subscribers are second class citizens, despite the fact that we pay more than our British cousins. How stupid is that?

The call was answered by someone in India or wherever it is you’ve outsourced your call center to. No more lovely Scottish accents, now I’m faced with someone whose english is average at best. I had difficulty understanding him, and he me. He asked me many questions, many of them with no bearing on the topic in hand.

After an interminable authentication procedure that in the end didn’t actually authenticate anything, he transferred me to another gentleman, who again didn’t have english as his first language. He asked me more questions, although most of them duplicated the questions I had already answered. I believe he was as frustrated as I was.

He asked me if I knew about Sky+, despite the fact that I was calling to order it. He started explaining it to me, despite the fact that I told him I was familiar with it. He asked if I was interested in Multiroom, despite the fact that I had told the previous gentleman I wasn’t interested. And he quoted me a price in pounds, despite the fact that I had explained to the previous gentleman that I’m in Ireland. Twice.

Then he told me that installation is €75, despite the fact that it says FREE – in caps, hence my emphasis – on your website. Of course I notice afterwards that despite the caps, there’s tiny print below that mentions Multiroom is required. So it’s not actually FREE, now is it? And, as I explained to the gentleman, I already have a quad LNB, and I’m not paying €75 for a guy to plug in my Sky+ box.

And this is your sales line. I can only imagine what your support line is like. Do you route those calls to tribesmen in darkest Africa, where you can pay people with chickens?

Unfortunately I can’t drop Sky completely, as our cable operators are even worse than what Sky has become, but I won’t be upgrading to Sky+ now. Or adding Multiroom later, as was my intention.

And do you know what? If someone that understood me actually came on the phone and treated me like a human being rather than a Sky card number, I might just have gone with the deal you’re trying to push anyway.

Get your house in order, for god’s sake. You won’t have that market share forever, eventually your decreasing levels of customer service will come back and bite you in the ass.

My Sky card number is XXX XXX XXX. I’m tempted to shred it.

Adam Beecher

More Shit CS posts to come, featuring the ESB, BOI Card Services, and Church Road Motors in Tullamore. No doubt there’ll be more about BT too.

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